THE LOAN SHARK
I was sitting in the bar room Of a dusty country town I remember it was evening And the sun was going down Then I heard a fellow bragging How us country boys are 'slow' For he'd came down from the city And he'd made a pile of dough He claimed he dealt in finance And was such a generous gent He was prepared to loan us money At just twenty eight percent He knew our farms were hurting For the drought had knocked us down And he'd made the trip from Sydney Just to help us save our town It was true we needed money Our reserves were pretty sick But asking twenty eight percent? We're not that bloody thick! He said he'd want security To protect his precious dough When he asked to hold our farms as 'trust' We told him where to go Only one approached the 'loan shark' And in a voice so very meek He said he'd had to sell his farm He'd sold it just last week But he hadn't got his money yet He couldn't guess how he'd survived And he had to last another week Before his cheque arrived "I would like to borrow money." We heard him meekly say "I need about three thousand For the debts I have to pay." "And I don't have no security But I'll tell you what I'll do Until I receive my farm check; I'll leave my wife with you." "She'll be a great companion She'll go every place you go And whatever you may ask her She'll never once say no." Lust was in the loan shark's eyes You could tell he was that kind 'Cause the filthy look upon his face Betrayed his filthy mind. Then the young man pointed to a girl Who was just across the street You could see she was of tender years Her face was fresh and sweet And through the bar room window It was plain for all to see That she was blessed with ample curves Where curves should always be The 'shark' counted out three thousand And then with spirits up Said: "Go and tell her of our deal, And then I'll pick her up." We watched the young man cross the street A word or two was said And we all were disappointed To see her smile and nod her head The young man didn't seem to care He'd left behind his bride And as quickly as he disappeared The 'shark' was at her side But she looked at him with horror And he had no time to brace As she landed him a beauty With a right hand to the face The poor old 'shark' came stumbling back And slumped upon the bar His trembling hand refused to light His badly mashed cigar When we asked him what had happened He said: "I've done my dash; That bloody yokel done me in He's made off with my cash!" "When I told that fiery little bitch The deal her husband made; Her face turned from a snowy white To a deeply reddish shade." "She said she wasn't married And she wasn't that man's wife; Until he asked her for directions, She'd never met him in her life." "Then she told me I was low-life And with a look I'd swear could kill She landed me a beauty And my ears are ringing still." "I'll find that bloody yokel He's still somewhere in town And when I get my money back I'll knock the mongrel down!" Though he searched the town 'til morning His search was all in vain The yokel timed his 'con' a treat He'd caught the evening train And the poor old city 'loan shark' With his cheek as red as mince Left the town next morning And we haven't seen him since. Now the farmers in this sleepy town Have a yarn they love to tell Of how a 'slow poke country yokel' Took down a city swell. K.D. Abbott © 2007 |
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