BIRDS
| If you decide to read this poem You'll guess as soon as you've begun I had been outdoors too long And been affected by the sun My brain was really fuzzy From the heat and sun combined Yet my family will insist That it's my usual state of mind Being deep in contemplation Of important worldly things I fell victim to the heat And the illusions heat stroke brings The day was really sweltering I was mowing our back lawn I stopped to wipe my sweating brow And tiredly gave a yawn There was this cheeky little black bird Perched high up in our tree And I'm sure I heard him singing "No damn lawn mowing for me!" It seemed to me that he was boasting And in making such a fuss He was sarcastically informing me That they're superior to us While I sweltered in the sun He was sitting in the shade Compared to mine, his life is easy I'm convinced he wouldn't trade I wouldn't be a duck or pheasant Because their prospects aren't too hot And when the hunting season opened I'd be the first damn bird they shot But his singing seemed to taunt me As he sat high in his tree And with the song that he was singing He conveyed these thoughts to me I hastily grabbed my note book And wrote down his every word Only one who suffered sunstroke Would take dictation from a bird That bird made a rude suggestion From the branch on which he sat He said he'd find our yard more pleasant If we dumped the dog and cat My old dog gave an angry growl And I could easily tell He had told that bird quite frankly That he could go to hell I should have known my verse was stupid I was in a mental fog It's the first verse that I've written Without the help of my old dog My dog saw what I was writing And decided not to stay He gave a sad look of embarrassment Then got up and walked away That bird sang of an advantage That bachelors like best He can find a new bird every year To 'feather' his new nest If he wants to stretch his legs a bit Long grass makes walking hard So he flaps his wings and pretty soon He's found a neater yard When he decides to build a new home He just wings around the town He steals everything he wants And the law won't hunt him down If his wife walks out and leaves him He thinks it's quite okay Because birds are independent There's no maintenance to pay The financial crisis didn't harm him He had a lesson we should heed Birds never get in debt Because they don't have human greed He continued to torment me From that tall tree in our yard He said he never carried money And didn't need a credit card He even quoted Thoreau's wisdom And said they're words we should live by We could make our life more pleasant If we'd just 'simplify'. I found his attitude insulting And I thought it quite absurd That I should have to be belittled By a pompous little bird He was acting so superior He thought himself astute If I could have found a rock I would have stoned the cheeky brute But he did have one advantage And it's one that I would seek Each time I get a toothache I'd prefer to have a beak Mother nature should have thought of it It's a gift she should bequeath Because beaks do stuff the same as mouths And they never need false teeth As I gazed up at that black bird His beak looked real darn neat We could do away with dentists And make the buggers obsolete Romance could be quite tricky Those beaks have points by heck And a girl would not forgive a man Who stabbed her in the neck The world's problems don't depress them They don't watch the evening news And they never suffer blistered heels From breaking in new shoes They do not fall prey to fashion Fashion is a human sin The birds laugh at all our fashions Their feathered style is always 'in'. He doesn't queue at busy check-outs And face a sales clerk's flustered mood Everything he eats is cost-free He doesn't pay one cent for food They build their nests in great locations Where they get the greatest views And they don't pay rates or taxes Or even union dues Nature tells birds all they need to know They don't seek extra knowledge So the parents don't go bankrupt Trying to put their kids through college If they don't like their neighbour The problem's easily solved They fly to a new location And there's no 'moving costs' involved They have no traffic problems They have uninterrupted flights They don't have to pause at 'stop' signs Or inconvenient traffic lights Transport costs are non existent They have a gift you can't surpass They can have a free vacation Happily flying tourist class They have no need for aeroplanes Or a taxi, train or bus They just wing around the country Without the slightest fuss Nature's showed them favouritism By giving them these things We have to wait to get to heaven Before we get our wings They never grow untidy beards So they don't have to shave And they don't have to fill the car up Think of all the cash they save Their life is free and easy They never have to work That damn bird was sneering at me He made me feel a thorough jerk But, to be a chicken or a turkey Is a thought I couldn't bear I don't want to end up on a table With my legs stuck in the air K.D. Abbott © 2009 |
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