THE OUTBACK FARMER
| To be an outback farmer Is not so bloody grand To try to earn a living Off what's laughingly called 'land' For the great Australian outback Is only for the brave It's not the 'fields of heaven' As bush poets sometimes rave It can take the dream you've fashioned And rip the thing apart It can break your back and spirit It can break a strong man's heart There's miles and miles of 'gibber' plains Where not a thing will grow And the red dirt we call 'bull dust' Is most every place you go It has a powder type consistency That could invade a steel lined room It fills the farmer with expletives And the farmer's wife with gloom It covers every inch of territory 'Til the outback nears it's end It blocks your ears, and eyes, and nostrils It can send you round the bend You can stray to Coober Pedy Where the opal mines are 'bled' And the cars and dogs and people Are all deeply coated red Red has to be the fashion No other colour can survive The 'bull dust' clings to all things Be it dead or still alive When it comes to this curse 'bull dust' My hatred's pretty strong But lest you think this verse is 'bull dust' I'll try to move along The drought descends upon you Like a searing cloak of pain And without a drop of water You can't grow any grain You can watch the grasses drying Shrivelling into twigs of straw And they just keep right on drying 'Til they can't dry any more When all the land is ravaged The place gets so damned dry It makes life so depressing It could make a strong man cry But you don't cry in the outback For it brings a greater fear Trees chase you for the dampness If you dare to shed a tear Any water is so precious And your problems are so large You wont let your dog lap water From a dusty plain mirage The stock meander aimlessly Exhausted by the heat They search in desperation For a blade of grass to eat So you have to fell the she-oaks On the dried out river flats And risk being clawed to death By packs of feral cats They think they own the she-oaks They think that it's their right And they're not prepared to give them up Without a bloody fight Then the stock swarm to the she-oaks As they're falling to the ground And they ease their pangs of hunger With the only food around Then because the land is barren And everything's so dry You are greeted with the dust storms That blot out earth and sky For weeks on end they ravage They're with you every day You don't have an inch of vision There's nought to look at anyway It's like a sand-blast in a re-paint shop Your temper wears so thin You could use a plastic surgeon To replace the missing skin And the way it upsets animals You've never seen the like A friendly bull turns angry And the sheep dogs go on strike The cows refuse to give their milk The fowls refuse to lay Your very strongest draught horse Won't pull an empty dray But you have to keep on trying You can't admit defeat Though the mule won't even kick And the sheep refuse to bleat And then the heavens open And the rain begins to drop But after days your smile is slipping Cause the damn rain just wont stop You see the rivers flooded And the plains are under too Your sheep and cattle stranded And there's nothing you can do Your whole world's under water And you're soaked through like a coot You can hear a bullfrog croaking In the bottom of your boot The dampness soaks you to the bone There's no way to resist Then the rheumatism grabs you Like a great gigantic fist Then you hear the missus screaming And you rush to save your spouse You find a nasty tribe of leeches Have commandeered your house They're the size of anacondas That have swept in with the flood And they only take five seconds To drain out all your blood And your house becomes a haven For all that it can take The frog, koala, possum The lizard and the snake Then when the flood has ended And things are looking nice Your fowls become infected With a plague of chicken lice And the foxes are so tricky You don't know how low they'll stoop Til they steal your most prized chicken From your fox-proof chicken coop You can spend all day out fencing From sunrise 'til sundown But before you can admire them Kangaroos have kicked them down And cantankerous 'old man wombat' He's worse than feral pigs He only has one aim in life He digs, and digs, and digs So he hunts along the fence line Until at last he's found A spot the kangaroos have missed Then excavates the ground He digs beneath the bottom strand A path that's deep and wide So the bloody fox and dingo Can access the other side Next time I string a fence up I reckon what I'll do I'll leave a gap and place a sign "All wildlife please pass through" Then you get a raid of field mice That add to all your strife They eat up every thing you've got And terrify your wife Grasshopper swarms will visit And I can't explain the hurt When the one good crop you've had in years Is now a field of dirt With calm resolve you plant again But even as one sows The seed is quickly gulped down By the cockatoos and crows And if perchance some grass survives And dares to green the plain The rabbits are obliging And they'll make it bald again The fear that makes you shiver Is to hear the dingo howl You know he has some chooks picked out The bugger's on the prowl There's wild camels and there's brumbies And there's water buffalos There's emus, and there's wallabies They all add to your woes Your windmill ceases pumping When a breeze can not be found Then you get a wind so violent It knocks the damn thing to the ground Your troubles just keep piling up It's enough to make you sick Outback farming's only suited To a raving lunatic So why do I keep persisting When nature puts me to the test? The answer is so simple It's the thing that I do best K.D. Abbott © 2008 |
| EXPLANATIONS: I have been taken to task for using Australian terms in some of my earlier poems without offering any explanation of their meaning. I shall endeavour to correct this oversight in future. She-oak is a tree of the genus Casuarina. They can thrive in the harshest conditions. The brumby is a wild free-roaming feral horse. Dingo: A native dog, it is found in most rural areas of Australia - from harsh deserts to lush rainforests. Pure-bred dingo numbers are declining as man encroaches deeper into wilderness areas. The dingo will yelp or howl, but it does not bark. It has a different gait to the domestic dog and it's ears are always erect. It is no more dangerous to man than any other feral dog. It is very wary of humans and will not attack unless provoked. Gibber plains are large tracts of land covered with stones. Gibber is Australian slang for a small stone. Chooks: Aussie slang for fowls or chickens. Bush: Used in many of my earlier poems, it refers to native vegetation; usually thick with trees and dense scrub.It can also refer to the small towns in the country that are safely out of the reach of the sprawling cities. Bush Poetry: Originated during colonial times, it mainly told of the hardships, humour, and pleasures of rural life. It is defined as having rhyming verse with regular metre and usually relates to the Australian people, the country, and it's wildlife. NOTE: The outback farmer's spirit in facing adversity is a quality that should be admired by all Australians. Some live in isolation with over one hundred miles to their nearest neighbour. Their dry sense of humour and their light-hearted exaggeration is unique. I have the deepest admiration for both the farmer and his wife. These soldiers of the land fight a continual type of guerrilla warfare with the extremes of 'Mother Nature' and her animals. I find their strength of character truly inspirational.
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