Lake Burley Griffin, Canberra
RESTON GIRLS
| I'm sitting in my garden As I write this painful verse And as memories assault me I tremble, moan and curse I had travelled up to Canberra For a special ride to take There's a bike path that encircles Their 'Burley Griffin' Lake I bought myself a mountain bike I meant to get real fit I'd refresh my rusted muscles And trim my waist a bit My adrenalin was pumping And challenges I craved I'd tackle any terrain As long as it was paved I'd pedal on the level parts And feel the fitness thrill I'd coast down every incline And walk up every hill Then two girls rode beside me They stopped to say 'Good Day' They said they were from Reston In Virginia, U.S.A. They both were riding racing bikes They were friendly and so sweet They said they loved to cycle 'Cause it kept their figures neat They were here to tour Australia And they loved the Aussie sun They asked if I'd been riding long Or if I'd just begun That was such a stupid question Why, I'd never heard the like I informed them back in my day Mums gave birth upon a bike Mum rode ten miles to the midwife Along a dusty track And when she'd given birth to me She rode the ten miles back Though I was just a few hours old I had no thought of fear And on the rocky inclines I even helped her steer They both laughed at my story 'Til I thought their sides would split So I reluctantly admitted That I'd stretched the truth a bit I was much too old for both of them Yet I admit to feeling sad 'Cause each time that they spoke to me They referred to me as 'dad' They said they'd like to ride with me We were going the same way And I thought it had the promise Of a very pleasant day But they were so much younger They pedalled much too fast And it took just fifty metres To know I couldn't last So I said my tyre was going down That I must have got a 'flat' I said I'd catch up to them later And I reckoned that was that When reluctantly they waved goodbye I heaved a grateful sigh I knew I had to leave them It was either that, or die I waited 'til the coast was clear 'Til I was sure the girls had gone Then I climbed aboard my bike again And bravely pedalled on Then I cycled through some pine trees Near the Governor General's house I could see him in the gardens He was walking with his spouse Now, I have a friendly nature As all my friends will tell So I waved to dear old Governor And to his wife as well And I felt very confident That they'd wave back to me But I don't know if they did or not I smashed into a tree For a time I was unconscious And when I came 'around' There were pieces of my body Scattered all across the ground The blood streamed from my forehead And it gushed from out my knee It seemed that blood was oozing Out of every part of me And my poor old battered mountain bike It seemed its life was spent Brakes dangled from its handle bars And its wheels were badly bent But this spot is miles from anywhere So despite my aches and pain I straightened out the wheels a bit And got back on again The path stretched out in front of me And although I felt quite ill I didn't have to pedal For the track ran down a hill I couldn't slow the bike down It had reached a dangerous speed And I knew the pace I travelled at Was excess to my need And then a vision horrid For my blood-stained eyes to see At the bottom both the Reston girls Were waiting there for me I wobbled on and off the path I felt a thorough goose The bike would not obey me 'Cause the handle bars were loose As I headed for the Reston girls I yelled out "Please stand clear" Their faces turned a deathly white Their eyes were filled with fear But these Reston girls were 'thinkers' And so for safety sake To avoid my deadly onslaught They both jumped in the lake I still can see their misery It haunts me even yet Their faces masked with anger And their clothes all soaking wet Then the bike took to the paddocks And it picked the roughest course It went leaping over stones and things It was bucking like a horse Then it headed for some pine trees And it seemed to increase pace While the trees with pointy needles Plucked at my bleeding face That ride had so much danger Even 'Bronson' wouldn't scoff A low branch nearly scalped me And it tore my helmet off Then it did a kind of 'U' turn There was nothing I could do Wherever that bike chose to go I had to go there too It pushed through brambly bushes It would heave and sway and buck Then it sped along the water's edge And nearly squashed a duck My clothing was in tatters Every part of me had bled Before that ride was over I would surely end up dead The way it veered at obstacles You'd swear it was alive I clung on in desperation Merely trying to survive A cyclist loomed in front of me He looked a proper 'toff' I clipped his wheel as I flew past And knocked the bugger off A family picnicked near the lake So peaceful, so serene My bike soon changed that picture To a devastation scene It seemed to pounce upon them Like some crazed jungle cat They ran screaming for survival It squashed their picnic basket flat A group of walkers then appeared I yelled out "LET ME PASS!" I suppose they didn't hear me I left six sprawled in the grass A woman walked a monstrous dog She had him on a lead And another startled human Was a thing I didn't need She shrieked as I whizzed past her But her dog thought it was fun So he started chasing after me Heck, could that woman run!! It was speeding back along the path It wobbled like a snake And I dimly saw both Reston girls Just scrambling from the lake It seemed their effort getting out Had only been in vain For I was headed straight toward them So they jumped back in again I noticed as they climbed back out Their anger seemed to grow They had Lilly leaves squashed in their hair And were mud from head to toe I couldn't steer the bike at all And there was not a working brake But I had to leave the damn thing It was a risk I had to take It was heading for the Governor's house With a hundred thousand cars So I did an awkward somersault Across the handle bars With the few bits that remained of me I lay there on the ground But through my hazy vision My fear became profound Both Reston girls approached me And I was quick to realise They meant to do me damage They had murder in their eyes These precious girls from Reston Were well mannered and so sweet And with their unique beauty They'd stand out on any street But with mud and slime and tangled hair The way that they looked now You could find more pleasure looking At a dairy farmer's cow I could hear their anger bubbling Their mood was fit to kill So I kept my eyes closed tightly And I lay there very still I meant to milk their sympathy But that hope quickly flew Because the closer they got to me The more their anger grew They both were swirling bike chains They meant to use them I could tell So I did what any man would do I jumped up and ran like hell The memory lives within me And its haunted me for years When I think of my embarrassment My eyes fill up with tears I have nightmares of those Reston girls I leap screaming from my bed As they bash me with those bike chains And they won't stop til I'm dead And I'm sure those dear, sweet Reston girls Still hold a grudge today So I'm still not game to visit Any part of U.S.A. K.D. Abbott © 2008 NOTES: Canberra's beautiful lake is named in honour of Walter Burley Griffin, an American architect. He was responsible for the design and planning of Canberra, the national capital of Australia. The distance of the complete circuit around the lake is approximately 35 kilometres or 22 miles. |
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